Not the good kind of bang. I’m talking about the kind of bang where your toe meets the wall with enough force to land you in the ER for the morning. Yea, that kind of bang.
If you follow me on Instagram, you already know the less than ideal start to my week. Ugh.
So, you think Mondays are rough? This is what mine looked like:
I was scheduled to teach a boot camp at 6am followed by two cycling classes later in the morning. Boot camp started off great until about five minutes in when I ran to the closet to grab some weights and stubbed my tow into the base of a Bosu ball. It hurt, but no more than a regular stub-on-the-coffee-table so I continued on teaching. The music was pumping so I didn’t hear anything pop or crack. About 10 minutes or so later the pain was radiating from my pinky toe (where I hit) all the way up the outer side of my leg, reaching my abdominal area and making me nauseous. I figured something was wrong, but at the same time my thought process went along the lines of, “it’s a little toe..how bad can it be? Stick it out, ice it after class, if it still hurts after work, go to the doctor”. Yea, my body overrode that thought. A few more minutes passed and the pain really started to get bad. I asked the class if they minded if I sat down while instructing. I sat on the ball for a few minutes and noticed that not only my toe but the whole side and top area of my foot was quite swollen. One of the girls told me I didn’t look too well. My pinky toe was pointing in the wrong direction. I tried to stand up and that’s when I realized the severity; I couldn’t put an ounce of weight on that foot, not even if I tried to stand on my heel, without excruciating pain. Now, I have a fairly high tolerance for pain so if I’m really hurting, I know it’s got to be bad.
Once that realization hit me I just started sobbing. I was crying from a mix of the pain and anxiety regarding how bad this could be and how long it could put me out of work for. I figured the sooner I got to the hospital, the better. Of course it was my right foot so it was impossible to drive. Thankfully one of my exceptionally kind students drove me to the hospital (THANK YOU for taking the time out of your morning to do that for me!!! Thank you a million times over!!!!!!). I sat in the waiting room for only a few minutes before a nurse came in to check my vitals. First, they brought in a bucket of yellow goo water to soak my foot in. The water served as an antibacterial cleansing agent since there was a small cut on my toe. After a quick soak I was wheeled to the x-ray room (I could not walk!!! If I wasn’t in a wheelchair I was hopping-I would have rather hopped as I was SO embarrassed in the wheelchair!). The technician took several photos which ended up being surprisingly painful as he had to move my other toes to get a clear image. Every time he touched my foot I had to hold back tears, the pain was SO bad. For the final image he tried to move my toe next to the bad one and I nearly fell off the table from the shock of the pain. It was NOT the technician’s fault either, he was actually quite wonderful; very friendly, talkative and SUPER gentle! However, I was in absolute hysterics after that touch I could hardly breathe, it hurt so much! The poor technician looked so mortified, even though he hadn’t done anything! I felt so bad!!! He immediately ran to get the doctor because he just didn’t know what to do at that point, my reaction to that, naturally, was to cry and freak out even more. So mature, I am. As soon as the doctor walked in and saw me shaking in the fetal position on the x-ray table he simply said, “Oh, it’s dislocated”.
Back up a bit, friends. When I was about 11 I had a traumatic injury when I fell off a bike which resulted in a compound fracture to my left forearm. Yes, I had a traumatic cycling injury which turned me away from bicycles for years only to grow up and become a cycling instructor, I see the irony. The fall and break were nothing, but once I got to the hospital and had my bone reset…that..was..probably the only time in my life I’ve ever felt true PAIN. I mean, PAAAIIIINNNNN.
So, when I heard “dislocated” that was the fond memory that came to mind and I started convulsing. Well, shaking. Then I screamed out, “NO! No, it’s NOT dislocated! It’s broken!! You didn’t even check the x-rays!!!! Did you read the x-ray?!?!”. This poor doctor, he must have questioned why he came to work this morning. Yet, he was nothing but perfectly kind to me and SO, SO patient. He responded, “Well, I’m sure it is broken as well, at least cracked. I have not checked them, I will, but I can already tell you it’s most certainly dislocated. It’s ok, we’ll pop it right back in.”
I lost it. The x-ray tech ran out again. That poor man.
The nurse wheeled me back to my room while assuring me, once again, they’d “pop it right back in”. I turned to her and screamed through my crazy-lady tears, “NO!! Can’t you do anything else!? I’m going to vomit! I am going to VOMIT! I can’t deal with that, I know what that feels like. Oh my GOD, I am going to DIE!”. Just like the doctors and everyone else at the hospital, this nurse was incredibly kind and patient. She assured me that they would numb the spot and I “wouldn’t feel a thing”. Don’t they always say that though? Then you fucking feel EVERYTHING and it’s awful. That’s how it went down ten plus years ago when I broke my arm. I felt that numbing needle touch my bone. So of course, the crazy bitch that I was this morning, I responded “You’re sticking a needle…in my TOE?!”
“It’ll be quick! Then, you won’t feel a thing! The needle’s the worst part, it’s quick!”
Yea ok, that’s the worst part.
So, as the nurse and I are chatting in the room the doctor comes in, with a medical student. I didn’t mind the medical student, in fact, he was very friendly as well. What I did mind was the doctor explaining every little thing he was doing when it involved things such as “twisting it here, putting some pressure here until we hear it pop or click“. Yea, I wasn’t really feeling the play by play.
They did make a joke that made me feel better and smile at least once. The doctor was trying to tell me what to expect and was comparing it to other experiences with novacaine shots-none of which I’d ever had. So he asked, “haven’t you had this at the dentist?”, to which I responded, “no…I’ve never even had a cavity! Don’t compare this to a cleaning!!” He laughed and looked at the student to say, “see, this isn’t normal, she’s TOO healthy! This one isn’t used to being injured, usually people in here are the opposite!”. Definitely not used to being injured, nor do I plan on ever becoming used to it!
Anyway, first things first the doctor cleaned off my toe to prepare it for the injection. OH MY HEAVENS why was that cleaning so excruciating!? I swear, you could have breathed on my toe and I would’ve died! They told me that dislocations are one of the most painful things. Even though I was in such pain I still found myself wondering how it was even possible that literally THE smallest part of my body could be giving me that amount of pain! I’m still wondering! After he cleaned it he went to inject me. I was lying on my stomach and the nurse was literally folded over my back, holding me down. The doctor explained to the student how he was going to inject this novacaine right into my nerve to numb it so he could manipulate the bone back into place. Of course I squirmed and cried out “WAAAAAIIIIIIT!!!!!!!”. Nerve? What nerve? I thought I wasn’t going to feel a thing? I’M PRETTY SURE I’M GOING TO FEEL A GIANT NEEDLE STABBING A FUCKING NERVE IN MY ALREADY EXCRUCIATING TOE!!
Yea, so I did. I felt that. It hurt like hell. Guess what, surprise, there were two needles. Two injections. I thought it was only little shot and then I wasn’t going to feel a thing? Next time, just tell me I’m going to feel like I’m dying, ok? I don’t like surprises. After the injectionS (PLURAL, let’s take note of THAT!) I had to sit around and wait for my foot to go numb. The nurse pointed out that it was turning white and that “white is good!”. Awesome.
Several minutes later I was feeling better at least. The crew came back in ready to fumble my bones around and back into place. Ugh. Finally, their promise was fulfilled and I didn’t feel a thing. The only downside was the damn PLAY BY PLAY that the doctor was giving his student. So, yeah, I didn’t feel a thing but I heard everything. It was especially comforting when he said “there we go, I heard and felt that click. Did you hear that click? See, right here [pushes my toe around] that’s where it goes. Like putting a door back on its hinges!”. Thanks, doc.
I may not have “felt a thing” but thanks to the commentary my brain was well aware of what was going on and my imagination had a field day.
Finally, they wrapped my pinky toe to my ring toe (what’s that 4th toe called anyway? I call it a ring toe because it’s in the same place as my ring finger…pinky toe, ring toe, middle toe, pointer toe, big toe aka foot thumb) to help the fracture heal. Yea, it was a dislocated toe with a hairline fracture. FUN!
Here’s the good news though, the pain was primarily from the dislocation so now that it’s back and aligned I will be feeling much better in a day or two. I can get back to work and even working out in 2-3 days! THANK GOODNESS. I just have to be careful not to step on my toes so no running or calf exercises for a week or two. I’ll take it!!
Plus, the hospital I was at was down the street from my parents house so my dad came to pick me up and brought me home to relax after my hectic, anxious morning. Then, I spent the morning with this little guy who showed me all the love and sympathy I needed:
Then around noon my mom came home and treated me to lunch. Comfort food was all I wanted so we headed to Bloomingdales for the best froyo.
Apparently, Bloomingdales got the memo that today is Miserable Monday since they were OUT of rainbow sprinkles. Dub tee EFF. Does it even still count as froyo without them?? I had to settle for coconut and smushed peanut butter cups. At least I finally got an iced coffee.
Anyway, this awful day is almost at its end. I’m home, relaxed and full of Tylenol. I’m feeling better and ready to baby this toe for the next few days so I can resume my regularly scheduled, active, healthy life.
Lastly, I’ve never been so relieved to have a pedicure, looks like I won’t be getting another one for a while.