Once upon a time I had a friend.

A friend who told me that she could buy a pint of ice cream and score it in quarters with a knife and eat ONE QUARTER AT A TIME.

She told me that a pint would last her around a week.

The minute she confided this in me, deep down I knew she couldn’t be trusted.

I’d like to inform you that I just finished an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s [salted caramel core ] in less than half the time it’s taken my husband to take his shower. He’ll be thrilled when he reaches for dessert tomorrow…and finds nothing. No shame, no guilt…I’ll own it. YUP.

I’m sorry, but who in GOD’S NAME can eat a quarter of the following:

Ben & Jerry’s






rAnd basically ANY type of frozen dairy dessert that comes in pint size, ETC…

AND THEN STOP?! HELLO..Isn’t that WHY they made Arctic Zero (which, bee tee duuuhhhbbbss….tastes like armpit) anyway?

Do us both a favor…don’t comment and tell me that you can section off a pint and eat it by portion, because I’ll judge you as a liar and we’ll have trust issues forever.

Let me end this post by saying that the girl who told me she could “score her ice cream” and eat ONE serving per sitting ended up dumping me as a friend because I lied to her and told her my husband didn’t go to the gym one morning when he really did to get me out of training with her (because I simply didn’t want to work out with her that day).


Let’s be real for a bit…while I’m feeling like a heifer anyway….

A pint of Ben & Jerry’s is basically a “medium sized” serving of Cold Stone, anyway, right? So, basically, what I just did is like going out for dessert, which is fine because I do that at restaurants all the time anyway. Totally normal. Plus, it’s Saturday, duh…need I say more? WE CAN EAT ALL THE THINGS AS LONG AS IT’S  my birthday, you’re birthday, a holiday, friday, saturday, sunday,monday, tuesday, HUMP DAAAAYYYYY, thursday, a bad day at work, a good day at work, you passed a test, you failed a test, you got dumped, you started a new relationship, you got fired, you started new job, you’re pregnant, you had a baby, you just got engaged, you just got married, you just got divorced, you just separated, you just got a spray tan, you just won the lotto  it’s THE WEEKEND. Obviously, calories 100% DO NOT count on these days. I’ve warned you, I can justify anything.

Plus, I cycled for somewhere near three hours today….so yeah. Basically all calories are burnt off, like, immediately, right? Right. Yup, I’m just going to go with that.

Happy Saturday, friends!



8 thoughts on “EAT THE ICE CREAM

  1. Alright, this is starting to get out of control. Can you hear my thoughts? I went in for a whole extra day of work today and felt I deserved a reward. But I had the dogs with me and it took me way longer than expected so I did not stop at the store for Jeni’s 😭 After dinner, I was checking the Dairy Queen website for the blizzard of the month flavor. Alas, I did not have the energy to go. I am jealous of your fulfilled ice cream wishes.
    So my issue with these containers is that the bottom is skinnier than the top, without destroying the container, you cannot effectively quarter that tiny little pint. If it’s not meant to eat in one sitting, why is it the perfect size for your hand?

    • Wait, are you sure you’re not in MY head?!?! I check the website for the blizzard of the month too AND I DONT EVEN LIVE REMOTELY NEAR A DQ. Riddle me that. I’ll travel for ice cream. Lol I’m dying at your comment and I completely agree, anything that’s PERFECTLY handheld is clear made for ONE person in ONE sitting!

  2. Oh my gosh I tried Arctic Zero once.. the worst decision ever made. Saying that it is disgusting is an understatement. I strongly believe that if you just eat the real thing you will be SO much happier.

  3. Lol awesome I would not trust her either. I agree a pint size is like an individual serving…. And sat /sun is fat day. I always try and fight it but I’m always a Heffer on those day, it never fails. Love your blog it’s so relatable and your love for Hawaii is so understandable!! My husband and I r dying to go back but we r having a hard time leaving our baby. Great post you made me feel so much better about eating a ton of crap today lol

    • Thank you so much for the kind compliments and for reading!! 🙂 I am 100% with you about sat and sun! Everyyyyy week i tell myself I’ll only indulge a leeeeetttlee….never, ever happens lol luckily tomorrow is Monday, a new day and we’ll flush it out and enjoy our single serving pints again next weekend! 😉 xoxo

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