At the start of this blog I was going through a REALLY rough summer blues and the worst seasonal depression I have ever experienced. That was why I started blogging, to do something creative and have something motivating to look forward to to keep me afloat.
I did a lot of research and soul searching and REALLY worked on developing coping skills to push through that time and it helped a lot. The following year I was excited about fall and felt like I overcame that SAD. However, these past few days the weather has cooled off and it’s starting to get a little darker a little earlier and I’m noticing myself feeling anxious, sad and not looking forward to anything. I’m trying to figure out WHY because on paper I have so much going on to be excited about. My husband and I are very actively house hunting and preparing our apartment to be sold. My sister is getting married in the middle of September and a few weeks later is my third wedding anniversary. My husband is turning 40 and we’re having a huge party for him. One of my best friends from high school is having one of her famous themed costume parties to celebrate her birthday. Another friend of mine is getting married in October, my husband and I are taking a spa getaway trip with another couple in October. In November we’re taking our annual trip to Newport which I always look forward to. I can’t understand why I’m not feeling excited? It sort of feels like I’m just going through the motions and I’m not looking forward to any of it. The worst part is that the summer isn’t even over yet!
The next few weeks I’m pushing myself to spend as much time in the sun as possible and take advantage of every beach day. I want to, I NEED to get out to the beach– to the ocean– a good few times before fall hits. I’m not letting myself skip a workout because even when I’m not feeling in the mood a good sweat always clears my head and lifts my spirit. I’m also pushing myself to stay committed to plans with friends and stay social because when I feel this way it’s far too easy to go into hermit mode and shut everyone out. And finally, more quality time with my husband and snuggles with my pup. Less time on my phone and iPad. I’ve been doing a lot of art lately but all for work so I may also try to do some water colors and sketches just for myself, just for fun.
I’m hoping this is just a passing feeling and that my spirits lift back up soon. I want to feel excited for what’s to come because I genuinely AM excited and not because I feel like I “should” be excited.