Let me start this post by acknowledging that I have posted many makeup how tos. I LOVE makeup. It’s something I have adored and played with since I drew my first winged liner (in electric blue, with burgundy-ala-Natalie-Portman-as-queen-amidala blush circles) when I was in the third grade. Did just out myself as the geek I truly am? Yes, I watch Star Wars.
As a young girl who attended Catholic school and was told NOT to alter her appearance with hair dye, nail polish, makeup and the like, my rebellious young self was clearly drawn to it. I have loved it since. Throughout middle school, high school and even the majority of college I would sooner DIE than let a stranger see me without a stitch of makeup on. Best believe if I ever, HEAVEN FORBID, had to go out bare faced, I wore the biggest sunglasses to conceal the (so I thought) “ugly”. I even wore makeup to the gym. Yup, my poor, poor pores. Fortunately for my face I hadn’t yet crossed paths with adult acne at that time.
It truly wasn’t until I reached my mid twenties that I looked in the mirror, COMPLETELY bare faced and said to my own reflection — wow.
Yup, believe it or not, I not only liked what I saw, I loved it. Here’s the very, very, very sad part. I didn’t let myself believe it. Here I was, a young, vulnerable GIRL, who hadn’t even grown fully into herself yet, looking at her bare face and loving every freckle…yet a voice inside me told me it was a WRONG. This was a time where I took a bare faced selfie now and then, only to delete it. Or, if I thought it was “ok enough” I would send it to my sister only for her to respond, “you can’t post that…Lindsay, you have no makeup on. No.”
But, listen, that never got to me. I look very different with and without makeup. I will post a side by side here.
To to be honest, I love myself both ways. To be very honest, I love myself the most without. Ten years ago if a boy told me that I would call him a liar. Maybe now I see it.
A few years ago I had a boss, in fitness, a woman. She pulled me aside one day and these were her exact words (I’ll never forget them)
I so admire the GUTS and ‘CONFIDENCE’ you have to get in front of a group of SO MANY PEOPLE without a stitch of makeup on. I wish I had that confidence myself. But, still…..I see your Instagram and facebook posts over the weekends and you look SO beautiful and I say to myself, WHY CANT SHE LOOK LIKE THAT HERE?!? Can you maybe put the same effort in to teach classes? Not a full face of makeup, but a little?”
Can I tell you all something honestly?
Never, ever, ever in my life, have I EVER been more offended. And you know what, it actually didn’t make me feel insecure. It didn’t make me question myself or my beauty. It made me feel incredibly bad for her. Maybe you want to know my response? I told her I DID put in effort. Maybe even more effort to my day to day appearance. I put in the effort to have not a damn fucking thing to hide. To finally find confidence in MYSELF. I appreciate my skin, I am grateful for it. I do not clog my pores with makeup before I workout and sweat. My real response? —
“I’m sorry you find me ‘less than’ without makeup. I am very confident. If you want me to look more presentable I will braid my hair, slick it back a little neater. But I will not be wearing makeup to work.”
I haven’t. I wear makeup for fun. Not to get by in life. I don’t need enhancements to make me successful, to make me me.
This whole post is inspired by Alicia Keys and the controversy of her bare, makeup free face at the VMAs. It’s because I KNOW what it feels like to be SCOLDED for not wearing makeup. You know what I have to say to those people? And this is coming from a makeup lover…
Fuck yea, I am fucking STUNNING with makeup on. I am so got damn gorgeous with it my highlight could stop traffic.
You know what’s even more gorgeous? The confidence I have without a stitch of it on my face. The fact that I actually make other women UNCOMFORTABLE by the fact that I can rock my bare face as well as I can rock a full beat.
Alicia Keys is killing it. She is fucking flawless. She is making so many women, so many men, SO MANY PEOPLE SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE just by being herself. And I laugh. Because the only reason they can’t handle it is because they are so uncomfortable with their own self.
Take a chance. Go out, have a day, live your life makeup free. But please, SMILE!! Enjoy every moment of it. Live your life, be beautiful. I promise, all it takes is CONFIDENCE to make you fucking untouchable.